


Swaggernatural

by swagstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8x23 spoilers, Crack, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, crack!fic, fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swagstiel/pseuds/swagstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is complete and utter crack. This, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as an accurate measure of our writing abilities. Also, it's probably not going to stay in character for very long, if at all.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is complete and utter crack. This, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as an accurate measure of our writing abilities. Also, it's probably not going to stay in character for very long, if at all.

"Dean, brotha, your swag's done run away," the swaggier, younger man spoke. "What's sucking your swag away?" 

Dean swagged over to Sam and shrugged his shoulders. "Too much swag, not enough space."

Sam laughed, a beautifully swaggie sound. "Dean, I got more swag than you." He swagge out of reach of Dean before adding the following swag, "But I also have more space than you."

The other man frowned almost instantly. "Sammy, you're depleting my swag levels even more." His posture drooped, as if the absence of his swag was making him smaller. In reality, swag was not something physical, but rather something that must be felt with your heart. Swag was esentially the lifeforce of the Winchester brothers. Sure, they could survive without it, but it was a dreary existence, which was why it was so imperitive to fix Dean's swag-leak.

Dean soon realized this, and shook his head. "My swag's gone missing, along with my swailicious angel." His voice trailed off towards the end, taking even more of his swag with it. 

"Dean," Sam swagged, " I hate to take away a good swaggie vibe, but he's not an angel anymore. You know what we saw the other night. That night put us in the worst swag-block that we'd ever experienced. Cas's lost his graceful swag, Dean."

"Then we'll just have to do a swag search for him."

 

 

Later that day, the two swaggered out to their 1967 Chevy Impala, the swaggiest of all of the swagmobiles in the world. They threw open the doores and climbed in. dean put his sunglasses on in slow motion, enhancing his swag appeal. 

Sam swag-slouched in the passenger seat, typing on his laptop with the constant Wi-Fi connection that had seemingly been blessed upon him. However, it was not a blessing that granted the definite Wi-Fi, but Sam's aura of swag.

The older brother's fingers tapped on the steering wheel as he anticipated the swag-search. Suddently, a thought occured to him. "Sam, what if Cas ain't swaggie?"


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is weak without his swag, and the Winchesters are still on the hunt for Deans swagalicious angel, Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is complete and utter crack. This, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as an accurate measure of our writing abilities. Also, it's probably not going to stay in character for very long, if at all.

“….swaggie.” Dean whimpered out in his sleep. He was languidly losing his swaggie. A reoccurring nightmare of becoming a no-swag. Dean not-so-swaggily rolled off his bed and hit the motel’s rough carpeting. His actions inadvertently woke his swaggier, younger brother. “Dean! Dude, imma tryna get my swag sleep.”  

The older stood and swagged his way to the motels grimy bathroom. He gazed at his swag-deprived-complexion and frowned. “Where did all my swag go?” Those more than believably green eyes reflected back at him, eyes that blamed himself for his swag loss. Sam appeared swaggily in the door frame, he held up a dingy burlap bag for Dean to see. “Swiggity swag what’s in the bag?” Dean muttered to Sam, curious. “Dean, ” the swaggier man started out, “it’s- it’s your swag, brotha.” “DUDE!” Dean screeched out, low swag levels in his voice, “Why would you do this to me? Ain’t we homies?” 

Sam stood up straighter, and Instantly became taller than his younger less swagarific brother, lets face it, Sam was a swagasaurus rex. Dean continued his grievances, “That wasn’t very swag of you, Sam. I thought you were my main, Sammy, my main.”  “Relax brotha, I thought it might help us find Cas faster.” Sam swagged in reply. “… My swagalicious angel…” Dean trailed off and they stood in silence before he swagged again. “I still don’t get it, how would taking my swag help?” Sam quickly produced a swagadelic reason, “If you were desperate for swag, you could’ve settled for any swag at all, and Cas is your swagalicious angel, well I guess he’s a human now but whatevs. Anyway, Cas has swag, and you want swag, Dean, you’re a swagaholic.”  

Dean took his swag bag and returned his swag to his body by putting on several SnapBacks and a pair of aviators, despite the fact it was 1 AM and they were indoors. A realization struck him and he turned back to Sam and away from his now swagalackin’ reflection. “But what if Cas ain’t got no swag no more homeslice?” Sam dramatically turned away and swagged forward a few steps. “Don’t worry bro, Cas will always be swaggie.” Dean swagged away from the mirror and inhaled and exhaled 100% swag. 

Sam was right, Cas would always be swaggie, even without his graceful angel swag, he still had his Cas swag, and that would last forever. They loaded up the Impala which they almost never seem to fill up with gas and hopped in. They were still on a search for dat graceful angel swag, but Dean was at ease knowing Cas would always be swaggie.


	3. Two

They swaggered through the forest for hours, looking for even a single sign of Dean's missing angel. Cas wouldn't have gotten far on his own, and certainly not with his having to adjust to a life without wings and graceful swag. They looked and looked until it felt like they were swagged out. Just as they were about to give up, though, they saw it--scorch marks in the shape of wings, a remnant of a swag since lost. 

"Cas?" Dean called, his voice regaining the swag it had seemed to be losing just a minute ago. "Where's my swaggie angel?" Dean looked in every direction, but was unable to find him. His feet shuffled with the soft sound of swag against the forest floor. They had expected to scare of the forest animals, especially since they were both  _at least_ six pure feet of unadulterated swag, seemingly personified into two glorious human beings. They were not disappointed- the animals would not venture within ten feet of them, for fear of the aura of swaggieness. 

Finally, Sam's muffled cry of swag-laden victory came from deep within the tree's to Dean's left.  He rushed over to find his taller brother pointing in the distance to something Dean could not see himself, despite his newly replenished swag levels. "Dean, he's over there, I can see him!" 

Dean didn't wait for his brother, but instead rushed off in the general direction of his lost angel.  He could feel his swag beating within his chest as his imminent victory came closer and closer. A few moments later, Sam and Dean broke into the clearing where Cas was sat under a tree. 

"Cas," Dean greeted, his voice catching at the realization of relocating his lost swag-buddy. 

"Hello, Dean."


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding Cas, Team Free Will discusses many of their concerns before hitting the road again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is complete and utter crack. This, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as an accurate measure of our writing abilities. Also, it's probably not going to stay in character for very long, if at all.

"Cas, you swaggie tropical fish. I can't believe we finally found you-" Dean's swagmazed tone was then cut short by Cas' apology.

"Deanie weenie, I can't swaggin' believe you found me, I've been searching so long for you- for you both." Cas began to explain about Metatron and what a, in Cas' words _'Totally not swag d-bag'_ , he was and how Cas had lost his grace.

Dean and Sam both swagged around in the open clearing of the woods for a while, still in shock of Metatron's betrayal.

"I think we should just not call him Metatron anymore," Dean spoke up and Sam swaggied out a reply "What are we gonna call him?" 

Dean let out a little princess giggle, "Meta-" Dean giggled with more ferocity, "Meta-poopface." All of team free will was in a laughing mess. _Meta-poopface_ was surely the joke of the century.

"We should get back to the swagmobile, bros." Sam said after finally being able to suppress his giggles. The three swagamuffins made it back to the Impala and, with swag of course, put their weapons back in the trunk. Dean was still curious about Cas' angel swag being gone, and decided to swaggily speak up. 

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" Cas' turned to face Him with a somewhat worried expression, Cas sensed what he believed to be a worried tone in Deanie weenie's, usually swag-smooth voice.

Dean paused before asking, worried he would upset his newly reunited swag-bro, but decided to continue on.

"Are you still swaggie?"

"Of course I am, Dean, that was one of my main priorities when I realized what happened after falling from grace, I had to stay swaggie for you, Dean."

Sam sat in the drivers seat ready to go and started the engine, it made a beautifuly swag sound. That V8 engine, the swaggiest of all the engines.

"Bros lets go!!" Sam called out with great swag but received no response. Concerned, Sam emerged from the car, amazed he fit his moose sized swaggie self through the frame, yet again. As he swagged around to the back of the car he found none other than the reunited swag-bros, or should he say swag- _lovers_ , not at all swaggily sucking face of the back of the swag-mobile. It kinda reminded him of a fish trying to eat another fish.  
Sam, growing unswaggily uncomfortable let out a loud cough and the two broke apart, and began to produce many hurried excuses and attempts at somewhat-swag explanations, until the previously established swagasaurus-rex, stopped their unswaggie elucidations. 

"Just shut up and swag yourselves into the car."


	5. Four

The swagarific trio had now come to terms with their new stance with their swaginess. They had a bond that had been strengthened by separation, and now it was held together by unbreakable ties of swaggie proportions.

They drove silently in the Impala, on their way back to the bunker to await their next swagtastic hunt. The air, though it held no sound, held the feeling of change. Now, instead of two swaggie hunters and an angel burdened with graceful swag, there sat three humans. Undoubtedly, the third would become a swaggie hunter in the very near future, following the guidance of his two friends.

Although, friends did not seem to do their relationship the swag-filled justice it deserved. The human embodiment of swag that Cas had gripped tight and raised from Perdition that Cas had grown close to now gave close a newer, swaggier meaning. Maybe they weren't quite swag boyfriends yet, but they had kissed a wonderful, swag-ridden kiss, and that was enough to give them the jumpstart that they needed to sort out the feelings that had gotten in the way of their swag. 

As for Sam, Cas could no longer just call him his swag friend. They shared so much more now: a deeper care for somebody other than themselves, a mission to preserve that person's swag at all costs. Now, they could surely be called brothers in swag if not by blood.

Cas sighed in a swaggie, contented way, enjoying his new realizations.  He had been so scared, so swagless in that forest. He had hoped with all of his remaining swag that Dean and Sam would resent him for losing his graceful swag. He had been awash with relief when he realized that was not the case.

Because he realized now, that swag or not, the three of them were family. 

Family filled Cas's heart to the very brim with swag, and that was all he ever really wanted.


End file.
